File 027c
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| Goofball. |
The Lizard King was once an ordinary goof-ball called James
Douglas Morrison who one day was
grooving round Groovy-Town California when he met a magic man from a cool wild
and sexy secret underground sex drugs and CIA cult, run by the
Vampire-Freemasons.
Stunning beard design
Jim Morrison's Earthly adventures are well known to most people, but what are less unknown are his continuing adventures after death and the design purpose behind Morrison's stunning beard. It is widely hinted at, but largely an open secret nowadays, that Morrison was in fact, part reptilian, and later in life he used his shape-shifting abilities to transform himself into a fat man with a stunning beard.
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| The shape-shifting Mojo man with a stunning whisky-beard. |
Morrison had planned the beard’s design months
before transformation: the purpose of the beard was to act as a sponge and
absorb the excess whisky which frequently sloshed into Morrison’s face. The
beard whisky could then be slowly absorbed into Morrison’s head, assuring that
Jim would always be correctly ethylated.
Secret phallus
Morrison had escaped to Paris by
accessing the Hollow-Earth underground tunnel accessible from Mammoth Cave
National Park in Central Kentucky, emerging from the secret Paris entrance to the tunnel
network in the Pere Lachaise cemetery, accessible by delicately touching the secret phallus on Oscar Wilde's tomb to
reveal a deep stairwell into the main continental tunnel.
Voodoo Jazz sessions
Later Morrison became a permanent resident of that peaceful
garden of death, teaching Chopin how to play voodoo Jazz piano and shrieking
into the night with Edif Piaf. Jim Morrison is still very active as an
Earthbound pop-ghost, but he mostly haunts bottles of Jack Daniels: perpetually
tormented as his ghostly form swishes itself into the fiery golden liquid, but
is unable to taste it. In his desperation for a drink Morrison haunted a
Scottish distillery, specifically a copper-still, hoping that the spirit would
somehow merge with his. It proved an ineffective experiment and to this day
Morrison haunts all the corners of the Earth looking for someone who can give
him a drink.
Drunk rutting pig adventures
It is said that he came closest when a Siberian Shaman temporarily
allowed his spirit to possess the body of a pig which had been specially
force-fed whisky and beer for the occasion. Morrison was reportedly happy with
the experience of being a drunk-pig but was apparently disturbed by the wild-sexual
libido of the rutting drunk animal which left Morrison’s ghost severely shaken
and provoked a road to Damascus transformation in Morrison’s ghostly soul which
from that day on, vowed to keep its mind off erotic thoughts. Morrison
reportedly commented that he was surprised that such a small animal could be so
randy and Morrison realised that his countless thousands of Earthly sexual adventures had all been rather
tame in comparison with being a pig for six hours.
Drunk and high dead body
Despite being out of range of the US mind-control
transmission towers, Morrison was within the range of his own inner-idiot and
opened the secret door to the 27 Club by having a drug-overdose party and
dying, then his still drunk and high dead body was taken to his Paris flat and
put in a bath-tub to make it look like he died wanking.
But he fucking rocked!
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| Jim Morrison ROCKING it! |
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